[Watch this video and then read this blog!]
by Matt Mattson
So, I don’t love using this word, but I’ve admitted it before and it’s true… I am an introvert.
I know I’m not alone. Somewhere between 16% and 50% of all Americans would identify as an introvert.
That said, I’m attending a conference soon that’s important to me. And, I know that over 40% of the attendees at that particular conference are usually first-timers (who will almost certainly feel a bit more introverted than they might back home where they know everyone). I need to make the most of this event. It’s important to me personally and professionally. It is to all the attendees. Also, I teach #SocialExcellence for a living, so I better get my act together whether I identify as an “introvert” or not.
Here are my TOP 10 TIPS FOR CONFERENCE SUCCESS (especially for introverted folks)
Make Relationships Your Goal: First, have a goal. Most people spend big money on conference attendance and never stop to ask what they’re hoping to accomplish. I recommend focusing on building new meaningful personal connections. Not passing out as many business cards as humanly possible. You want to come home with real people you really know and can really stay connected with. Every person’s career/purpose will be bolstered by a true “family” of people they trust in the field. It’s not about knowing as many people as possible, it’s about having a friend group within the industry.
One Meaningful Connection Per Two Waking Hours: A lot of people go into a conference thinking they have to meet 10,000 people, and there’s so little time, and also they have to eat, and oh God how are they going to do it, and what if I forget names!!!!!! Be cool, bro. Set some realistic and smart expectations. You’re aiming for real relationships. Not tons of names.* Make your goal 1 person per 2 hours. You’ll probably go beyond that. But that’s reachable and manageable. It also allows for some downtime if you need it. At the end of each conference day, think about the 4-6 people you’ve truly connected with over the last 8-12 hours of conference fun. That’s success
*But What If I’m a Vendor/Salesperson or Looking for Leads? You’ll note my asterisk in the paragraph above. Some people (me included sometimes) really need to come back from a conference with a list of “leads” to which they can sell their stuff (or recruit, or fund raise, or whatever). I get it. Here’s my tip for you — create little moments of emotional connection, and write it down along with their name. Names alone can’t be considered a success. You can buy a list. No, you want a name AND a shared memory to follow up on. Use #SocialExcellence (buy the book here) to tap into the power of creating momentary connection — use curiosity, generosity, authenticity, and vulnerability to create just a little heart to heart connection. Write down those names AND moments. That’s success. Now you have a reason to follow up and something to remember together when you do (p.s. also you weren’t smarmy, sales-y, or pushy… that’s the big win).
Have 3-5 Favorite Questions: I don’t mean work-related predictable questions. I mean your favorite three, four, or five questions you can ask anyone to strike up a real conversation. Mine are, “What’s your story?” “Tell me about your family,” “Give me a highlight (of your day/conference/etc.),” and “What’s next/What are you looking forward to?” These questions are my go-to questions to make small talk something more than small.
Never Eat Alone (Well, actually, go ahead if you need to): Meals are great places to deepen connections — remember, depth is better than quantity as long as your quantity is at least 4-6 different real relationships per day. One of our favorite books from the last 15 years is by a guy named Keith Ferrazzi. He wrote a book called Never Eat Alone, but he also wrote this fun guide to being a “Conference Commando.” Read the guide. Share meals (O.K., you get one Room Service meal, but that’s it!). Bonus tip: Set up lunch and dinner at breakfast time and breakfast at dinner time the day before. Plan your meals ahead. Ask, “I don’t have plans for breakfast/lunch/dinner yet, what are your plans?”
Take a Breather (Or Several): Almost every conference I attend, I will find a 20-30 minute portion in the middle of the day to go back to my hotel room, check my E-mail, and mostly sit in silence. Seriously, do this. You will be friendlier, more curious, and far more engaging if you care for yourself throughout the day. Don’t be afraid to disappear. Tell your FOMO to chill out for a minute, you’re not missing anything that a good question can’t catch you up on — “I needed a break this afternoon, give me some highlights of what I missed.” Just don’t forget to give yourself a pep talk after 20-minutes to get back out there! You only get one chance to make the most of this conference.
Carry A Book: This is a classic move by my good friend Woody Woodcock. He always carries a book he’s reading as he makes his way around a conference. Not in a backpack. Not along with a binder, a conference program, give-aways from the exhibit hall, and a bunch of other junk. He always has a book that he’s reading and a small journal. That’s it. The journal allows him to take notes, and the book allows other people to ask, “What book are you reading?” Of course Woody always chooses a book that he’s both interested in and that will allow him to have conversations about a topic of his choice. What book will you be carrying around your next conference? Bonus: Need another introvert break? Find a coffee shop, sit down, and read that book!
Have Fun in the Exhibit Hall: Exhibit halls are fun. Each table/booth represents people who are being paid to carry on a conversation with you! Pressure’s on them! LOL. But another reason I love it is that those exhibitors are just begging for someone interesting to come by so they don’t have to give that tired old pitch again. Make the exhibit hall your playground. Use the (required) energy of the exhibitors to boost your own energy. Ask them fun questions. Give them high fives. Ask them to tell you a joke. Take selfies with them and tag them on social media (they’ll love this). Do all this with a “wing man” — someone you met before the exhibit hall and asked, “Hey, want to check out the exhibit hall together and see if we can make some of the vendors our friends?”
Real Learning Doesn’t Happen In Sessions: I really believe this. The real learning happens around the edges of a conference. It happens with the people you talk with in the hallways. It happens because you ask good questions to other attendees and you listen to learn from them. Real learning happens over lunch or dinner, or in the giant lines at Starbucks. Real learning happens because you’re prepared to ask questions that matter to you and that allow people to share good insights. An old trick: ask better questions by starting them with one of these phrases — “How” “Why” “Tell me about” “Explain to me” “Help me understand”.
Be Healthy (or Something): I run. Especially at conferences. It makes me feel better about myself, it allows me some quiet “me time,” and I almost always run into someone else (either at the gym or on nearby scenic running routes) who is attending the same conference and who I introduce myself to (either during the run or when I find them later at the conference). For you maybe that’s a workout. Or reading/journaling in a coffee shop early in the morning. Or going for a walk. Or checking out local stores. Or whatever — do you, but be aware of others around you who might be doing them as well.
Enjoy your next conference! Be successful, be happy, and be yourself. Remember, the goal is relationships and relationships are built through authentic connection with other humans. Take down your walls of “conference fake smile” and “business-y perfection” and “too cool to care.” Everyone else at the conference hates the fakeness and the craziness that they normally encounter at these things too. Help build genuine connection. Need advice or a pep talk? Email me or find me at @PhiredUpMatt on Twitter & Instagram.
by Matt Mattson
IMPORTANT UPDATE: This link goes to a version of this blog that offers insights if you’re including some virtual/digital elements in your recruitment approach. It’s a great idea to read both.
If you are in charge of recruitment, it can be easy to get confused and overwhelmed. There are so many options and variables. Especially if you’re doing “open recruitment” (where there is no significant council support and no “rounds” or “schedule” already in place). Sure, you could look at what the person in charge of recruitment last year did, but sometimes it is helpful to start with a blank piece of paper and make your own plan.
This post is meant as an example. Before you dive in, I recommend you read this (everyone), and this (if you’re an IFC chapter), this (if you’re a Panhellenic chapter), or this (if you’re a member of a culturally-based fraternity or sorority). Then, be sure to also pay attention to the links below.
Here is a simple and effective 3 (or 4) week “open recruitment” plan.
Week 1: “You Can’t Recruit Who You Don’t Know.”
The goal of week one is simple: Put as many names on your names list as possible.
Sunday: Do a Mind Joggers exercise with your whole chapter during your chapter meeting to make sure you start with a strong Names List. Ask everyone in the chapter to text 5 of the names they put on the list to invite them to have coffee, lunch, or to “hang out” at some point in the next 3 days (try one of these Small Activities). GREAT START!
Monday: Do a Names Driving activity (pick 1 of these 60 ideas) for 2-3 hours during the day. Update your Names List.
Tuesday: Do a different Names Driving activity (pick 1 of these 60 ideas) for 2-3 hours during the day. Update your Names List. Between 8pm and 10pm get 5-10 of your most reliable members together in a single room (let’s call these members your “workhorses”). Open up your Names List on everyone’s computer. Send individual text messages to everyone on your list inviting them to upcoming events, activities, and/or 1-on-1 meetings. Update your Names List.
Wednesday: Fun group activity on campus: spend a couple hours in the afternoon doing something fun and inviting on campus. Try pick-up sports, a fun philanthropic fundraiser, a hike nearby, a study group, etc. Not a big “recruitment event,” but something simple and easy for anyone to participate in. Throughout the day invite as many strangers, friends, people from your names list, and passersby to join you. Throughout the day, hopefully your “workhorses” are doing two to three 1-on-1 meetings or small activities with people on your names list each. Update your Names List.
Thursday: Do a different Names Driving activity (pick 1 of these 60 ideas) for 2-3 hours during the day. Update your Names List. You might consider holding a formal “informational meeting” on campus for about 45 minutes in the early evening. Between 8pm and 10pm get your “workhorses” together in a single room. Open up your Names List on everyone’s computer. Send individual text messages to everyone on your list inviting them to upcoming events, activities, and/or 1-on-1 meetings. Update your Names List.
Friday: Fun group activity on campus: spend a couple hours in the afternoon doing something fun and inviting on campus. Try pick-up sports, a fun philanthropic fundraiser, a hike nearby, a study group, etc. Not a big “recruitment event,” but something simple and easy for anyone to participate in. Throughout the day invite as many strangers, friends, people from your names list, and passersby to join you. Throughout the day, hopefully your “workhorses” are doing two to three 1-on-1 meetings or small activities with people on your names list each. Update your Names List.
Saturday: Keep churning with text messages, small activities, and 1-on-1 meetings… or just chill. Your call.
Week 2: “People don’t join organizations. People join people.”
The goal of week two: Keep growing your names list and move potential members up your list.
Sunday: Give an update to your chapter. You should have added hundreds of new names to your list last week. You should be able to report how many points of contact you had with potential members last week. You should have moved a bunch of people from “D’s” to “C’s” (if you’re using ChapterBuilder). You’re doing great! Ask the chapter to take 10 minutes to make sure they’ve logged all the information about their interactions with potential members on your Names List. Ask each chapter member to identify their target list of 10 potential members that they’re going to give extra attention to this week (it’s o.k. if there is overlap). Teach chapter members how to do “chunking” in all of their interactions with potential members this week. Keep spirits high and show appreciation to everyone for their contribution.
Monday: Do a Names Driving activity (pick 1 of these 60 ideas) for 2-3 hours during the day. Throughout the day, hopefully your “workhorses” are doing two to three 1-on-1 meetings or small activities with people on your names list each. Update your Names List.
Tuesday: Do a different Names Driving activity (pick 1 of these 60 ideas) for 2-3 hours during the day. Update your Names List. Between 8pm and 10pm get your “workhorses” together in a single room. Open up your Names List on everyone’s computer. Send individual text messages to everyone on your list inviting them to upcoming events, activities, and/or 1-on-1 meetings. Update your Names List.
Wednesday: Event #1! Your first “recruitment event” should be really low-key. Keep it on “neutral turf” (away from the house). The success of the event rarely is determined by the event itself — success depends on how well you do getting people to the event. Send texts and make calls in the 2 hours right before the event. Go over to key areas of campus where you can find potential members in the 45 minutes prior to the event and physically invite people right there in person to attend. Have a blast. Make sure you’re “chunking” people at your event. Throughout the day, hopefully your “workhorses” are doing two to three 1-on-1 meetings or small activities with people on your names list each. Update your Names List.
Thursday: Event #2! Your second “recruitment event” should be really low-key too. Keep it on “neutral turf” (away from the house). The success of the event rarely is determined by the event itself — success depends on how well you do getting people to the event. Send texts and make calls in the 2 hours right before the event. Go over to key areas of campus where you can find potential members in the 45 minutes prior to the event and physically invite people right there in person to attend. Have a blast. Make sure you’re “chunking” people at your event. Throughout the day, hopefully your “workhorses” are doing two to three 1-on-1 meetings or small activities with people on your names list each. Update your Names List.
Friday: Do a Names Driving activity (pick 1 of these 60 ideas) for 2-3 hours during the day. Throughout the day, hopefully your “workhorses” are doing two to three 1-on-1 meetings or small activities with people on your names list each. You might consider holding a formal “informational meeting” on campus for about 45 minutes in the early evening. Update your Names List.
Saturday: Keep churning with text messages, small activities, and 1-on-1 meetings… or just chill. Your call. *Note: you probably have some potential members you’re getting close with. This is a good time to start “pre-closing” those prospects. Take them out to brunch, coffee, lunch, dinner… or ask them to watch some sports with you… or do whatever as long as it creates an opportunity for a meaningful one-on-one conversation. Update your Names List.
Week 3: “Recruitment is a relationship business.”
Week 3 is a big week with a lot happening. Be ready for some major results this week!
Sunday: Give an update to your chapter. You should have added hundreds more new names to your list last week. You should be able to report how many points of contact you had with potential members last week (it was probably a ton). You have likely moved a lot of people from “D’s” to “C’s” to “B’s” and maybe even to “A’s” this past week. Congratulate your members for their great work! This is a great day to start making some decisions. Use a smart selection process (read this and this) to identify prospects you’re ready to give a “bid” to. Text those prospects right away to set up a time to meet and give them their bid (be sure to “pre-close” them if you haven’t already). Spend 20-30 minutes texting “C’s” and “B’s” on your Names List to invite them to small activities on Monday and Tuesday. Update your Names List.
Monday: Fun group activity on campus: spend a couple hours in the afternoon doing something fun and inviting on campus. Try pick-up sports, a fun philanthropic fundraiser, a hike nearby, a study group, etc. Not a big “recruitment event,” but something simple and easy for anyone to participate in. Throughout the day invite as many strangers, friends, people from your names list, and passersby to join you. Throughout the day, hopefully your “workhorses” are doing a lot of 1-on-1 meetings or small activities with people on your names list each. This is the week where many of these meetings are really important conversations about membership. Update your Names List.
Tuesday: Event #3! If you have a house, feel free to have your event there (if not, obviously that’s o.k. too). This event should be built for people with real interest in the chapter (like “B’s” and “A’s”). Make sure all prospects who attend are interacting with a wide variety of current members. You’ll have to actively host them, and facilitate the connections between the prospects and the members. The success of the event rarely is determined by the event itself — success depends on how well you do getting people to the event. Send texts and make calls in the 2 hours right before the event. Go over to key areas of campus where you can find potential members in the 45 minutes prior to the event and physically invite people right there in person to attend. Have a blast. Make sure you’re “chunking” people at your event. Throughout the day, hopefully your “workhorses” are doing two to three 1-on-1 meetings or small activities with people on your names list each. After the event, gather your chapter (or just your “workhorses”) and decide on additional people you’re ready to invite to join your chapter. Text them to meet up tomorrow! Update your Names List.
Wednesday: Give out “invitations to join!” Spend a big part of your day asking people to join. Then between 8pm and 10pm get your “workhorses” together in a single room. Open up your Names List on everyone’s computer. Send individual text messages to everyone on your list inviting them to upcoming events, activities, and/or 1-on-1 meetings. Update your Names List.
Thursday: Event #4! If you have a house, feel free to have your event there (if not, obviously that’s o.k. too). This event should be built for people with real interest in the chapter (like “B’s” and “A’s”). Make sure all prospects who attend are interacting with a wide variety of current members. You’ll have to actively host them, and facilitate the connections between the prospects and the members. The success of the event rarely is determined by the event itself — success depends on how well you do getting people to the event. Send texts and make calls in the 2 hours right before the event. Go over to key areas of campus where you can find potential members in the 45 minutes prior to the event and physically invite people right there in person to attend. Have a blast. Make sure you’re “chunking” people at your event. Throughout the day, hopefully your “workhorses” are doing two to three 1-on-1 meetings or small activities with people on your names list each. After the event, gather your chapter (or just your “workhorses”) and decide on additional people you’re ready to invite to join your chapter. Text them to meet up tomorrow! Update your Names List.
Friday: Event #5! But first… Give out “invitations to join!” Spend a big part of your day asking people to join. Then in the evening have an event or do an activity focused on building connections between all the people who have accepted invitations to join so far. Great work! Update your Names List.
Saturday: Breathe. Relax. Celebrate (but make smart choices).
Week 3: “Keep growing!”
Week 4 is about taking all the work you’ve done so far, and turning it from a “victory” into an “unbelievable success story!”
Sunday/Monday: Do a Mind Joggers exercise with all of your newest members. Ask them to send a text message to everyone they added to the Names List inviting them to the activities and events happening over the next couple of days.
Tuesday: Fun group activity on campus: spend a couple hours in the afternoon doing something fun and inviting on campus. Try pick-up sports, a fun philanthropic fundraiser, a hike nearby, a study group, etc. Not a big “recruitment event,” but something simple and easy for anyone to participate in. Throughout the day invite as many strangers, friends, people from your names list, and passersby to join you. Throughout the day, hopefully your “workhorses” are doing two to three 1-on-1 meetings or small activities with people on your names list each. Update your Names List.
Wednesday: Event #6! But first… Give out “invitations to join!” Spend a big part of your day “pre-closing” people and asking people to join. Then in the evening have an event or do an activity focused on building connections between all the people who have accepted invitations with any new prospects you can get there. Try to do something in an easily accessible venue that is welcoming to anyone (and not a “house”). Great work! Update your Names List.
Thursday: Fun group activity on campus: spend a couple hours in the afternoon doing something fun and inviting on campus. Try pick-up sports, a fun philanthropic fundraiser, a hike nearby, a study group, etc. Not a big “recruitment event,” but something simple and easy for anyone to participate in. Throughout the day invite as many strangers, friends, people from your names list, and passersby to join you. Throughout the day, hopefully your “workhorses” are doing a lot of 1-on-1 meetings or small activities with people on your names list each. This is another week where many of these meetings are really important conversations about membership. Update your Names List.
Friday: Event #7! But first… Give out “invitations to join!” Spend a big part of your day asking people to join. Then in the evening have an event or do an activity focused on building connections between all the people who have accepted invitations to join so far. Great work! Update your Names List.
by Matt Farrell
Congrats on stepping up to oversee recruitment! Wouldn’t it be nice to hear an honest, unfiltered take from someone who’s learned the hard way?
Enter Will Elkins, who just finished up almost three years as a recruitment leader for his fraternity that had ZERO members when he started school.
Will is a member of Phi Gamma Delta at William & Mary. His school is public with a private feel, and his story involves both growing a smaller chapter and maintaining a larger one.
Let’s cut to the chase and hear straight from Will!
It all starts with remembering your own recruitment story
I came to school trying to figure out a lot of things. What I believed, who my close relationships would be, and just looking for something to sink my teeth into. I think we tend to forget about what it was like before we joined but looking back I was in a vulnerable place. The experience gave me a lot of insight into what it would be like starting my own company. It’s a reminder you yourself that you have the capacity to dive in fully, immerse yourself, and find that creative energy. But it’s important to be cognizant of that going forward so it doesn’t overwhelm you.
When your goal is to grow, and you’re facing the pressure of numbers
I’m gonna go very business-like here. You need to understand your value proposition. Where in the marketplace of ideas does your organization stand? What would make somebody join your organization over another one, whether a fraternity or not? You can’t BS your way around that and you have to be honest about both your strengths and weaknesses. When we found better ways to be honest about our weaknesses, potential members started getting intrigued about how they could be a part of the solution. They felt the mission of our organization before they decided to join.
You’re managing a system
One of the issues you’ll run into is bombarding potential members with info. If you’re over-communicative, that’s a turnoff for people. But some people use that as an excuse because being under-communicative obviously means settling. ChapterBuilder was extremely helpful in being our central hub where we could organize how much we talked to people and how the conversation went. Everyone knew where to go to follow up on conversations and bump people to the next step. It made it much easier to get people involved, so the second or third conversation with a potential member never started from scratch.
If you don’t face pressure about your numbers
After growing, my brother Alex Lopez noticed an increasing lack of structure that kept more brothers getting involved. We recognized one-on-one meetings were the best recruiting tool for us, but as our number of brothers and people we were looking at both grew, these were becoming harder to schedule.
We designed a recruitment team system to add more structure. It started with getting 5 or 6 team captains, and putting the rest of the brothers on their teams. The goal was for each brother in the team to meet with each PNM at least once, and the team leader would ensure it all happened. The system kept the focus on the one-on-one meetups. Once it was organized, everyone bought in because one-on-one meetups where the main reason most of us joined in the first place.
This also helped a ton with voting. We had our most seamless vote ever this semester. The system helps you trust your brothers since you all realize you won’t get to meet everyone, but you know everyone is having better conversations to go off.
What I Wish I Knew At the Beginning
The need for resiliency. You have to be persistent with communicating with people to get them on board. Sending that one text and not getting a text back just really doesn’t do the trick. You really have to always be going after it. People want to know you really care about them. You gotta have stamina.
A peripheral role can still be a contributing role. This organization has brought me so much and all I want to do is share that with other people. I know I was struggling hard my freshman year. Regardless of how put together these younger guys seem, everyone is seeking something.
I know the trend is for people to leave fraternities early now, especially after going alum. All I can say is, there’s something special about those guys who stick around. The unique opportunity for us is to act as a mentor for younger leaders. There are very few opportunities in college where you can grow this fast as a leader and give it back to someone else this quickly.
Contact: Branden Stewart
Carmel, Ind.– Phired Up is proud to announce the full-time hire of Hailey Mangrum as an Organizational Growth Consultant, effective December 2nd, 2019. Hailey will also serve Phired Up’s sister company, TechniPhi, in an Account Management role. She joins the Phired Up team full-time following nine months in a part-time capacity delivering programs and developing resources for culturally-based fraternal organizations. Hailey brings her expertise to the position as a current and former advisor and volunteer for Panhellenic, IFC, and culturally-based organizations (including NALFO, NAPA, NMGC, and NPHC groups).
“Hailey far exceeded all expectations this year in her part-time role, so I can’t wait to see what she does when this is her every day hustle,” said Jason Allen, Phired Up’s Director of Education. “She will continue to serve all fraternities and sororities and will be instrumental in blending our technology and educational services.”
Hailey is a graduate of Western Michigan University where she earned her bachelor’s degree in communication and became a member of Delta Sigma Theta Sorority, Inc. She went on to earn a master’s degree in Student Affairs Administration in Higher Education from Ball State University before working full-time with the fraternity and sorority community at her alma mater, Western Michigan University.
Most recently, in her role at Virginia Tech, Hailey served as a strengths consultant, developed curriculum to further advance the interpersonal development of leaders and build understanding of community.
“Hailey Mangrum is a fast-rising star in our industry, but she shines her light on others and that’s what I love about her. I’m thrilled that she’s agreed to help us create the future of fraternity and sorority by joining our team full-time,” said Matt Mattson, Phired Up Co-Founder and President. “She’ll keep quarterbacking our work to help culturally-based fraternal organizations grow, and she’ll also get to use her experience, her talent, her perspective, and her magnetism to help Panhellenic groups and whatever other audiences she finds herself educating. ”
As an active professional within the fraternity and sorority field, Hailey has volunteered for the Association of Fraternity/Sorority Advisors, several national fraternity and sorority leadership programs, and has developed exceptional facilitation and presentation skills through her role as a lead facilitator for NIC programs like IMPACT and UIFI.
“Hailey is such an empowered leader who exudes absolute confidence and I am so excited for the opportunity to work alongside her! Hailey has already made such an impact on so many students and I’m eager to see what she accomplishes next,” said Haley Cahill-Teubert, Phired Up’s Organizational Growth Consultant.
When asked what she’s excited about when joining the Phired Up team full-time, Hailey said, “My parents always told my brothers and I to use our voice, to speak up. I couldn’t be more excited to get to do that every day through building content, creating resources, and developing relationships with students/professionals all over the world for the advancement of fraternity and sorority.”
In her spare time, Hailey enjoys hosting friends, working behind the scenes at events, and vibing to a good Drake playlist. She is passionate about helping folks make meaning of how our lived experiences influence our leadership, decision making, and identity.
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About Phired Up Productions: Phired Up Productions helps fraternities and sororities grow. The company’s products, services, and brands are creating the future of fraternities and sororities by transforming the way people join. The company delivers relationship-focused, data-driven, results-producing TECHNOLOGY, EDUCATION, and STRATEGY solutions for every aspect of the pre-member experience from first-impression through initiation.
Your Names List is a critical first step in developing a successful recruitment system. The larger your Names List gets, the more successful you will become (Remember, “Quantity Drives Quality!”) You’ll have a greater opportunity to recruit more quality individuals when you increase the size of your Names List. Put every non-Greek prospective student on your chapter’s Names List!
Here’s an exercise to get you stared. Before you watch the video, DOWNLOAD THE FREE RESOURCE HERE for full instructions of how to do this with your chapter.