The Questions Recruits Actually Want to Ask (But Don’t)

Why This Matters

Every semester, we prep the same talking points for recruitment — brotherhood/sisterhood, philanthropy, leadership, and lifelong friends. And while all of that matters, it’s not always what potential new members are actually thinking about.

Many of them are wondering:

• “Is this just about partying?”

• “What’s the real deal with hazing?”

• “Will I fit in if I’m not a certain type?”

But they’re not asking those questions out loud because they don’t want to look stupid, get judged, or ruin their chances.

If we want to recruit better, we need to get ahead of the silent doubts.

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What They’re Wondering (And How to Address It)

“Is this all just about partying?”

What to say instead of avoiding it:

“We have social events but it’s more about who you’re around than what you’re doing. We want people who are going to be there for each other outside of just weekends.”

Why it works: You acknowledge the fun without making it the whole identity.

“Will I be hazed?”

How to respond confidently:

“We take that really seriously. No one should feel unsafe or humiliated to belong here. It’s about building relationships, not breaking people down.”

Why it works: Don’t just say “we don’t haze” — explain what you do instead.

“Is it worth the money?”

Try saying:

“It’s definitely a commitment, dues cover things like retreats, events, and national leadership programs. It’s an investment, and you’ll get value if you engage.”

Why it works: Transparency beats salesmanship.

“Will I fit in if I’m different?”

Answer with this mindset:

“Everyone’s different and we’re not looking for a mold. We’ve been working on making this space more inclusive, and we’re still learning. You showing up as yourself helps us grow.”

Why it works: It shows humility, not just performative inclusivity.

“What if I change my mind?”

Normalize this with:

“We want you here because you want to be here. If something’s not working out, we respect that. You shouldn’t feel stuck in anything that doesn’t fit you.”

Why it works: Empowers them to make their own choice.

“Is this just ‘paying for friends’?”

Reframe with honesty:

“No one’s buying friendships. You’re investing in shared experiences that bring people together. The friendships come from what we do, not what we pay.”

Why it works: Addresses the money talk without guilt.

“Does this really help after college?”

Be real:

“If you’re active and build relationships, the alumni network can be powerful. We’ve had members get internships and jobs through our connections — but you get out what you put in.”

Why it works: No overpromising, just honest potential.

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The Takeaway:

Recruitment isn’t just about saying the right things, it’s about answering the unspoken doubts that hold people back. When you show that you’re open, self-aware, and honest, you build trust. And trust is what makes someone say yes.

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Pro Tip: At your next interest meeting, orientation session, or when connecting with parents, try this:

“You don’t have to ask this out loud, but here are a few things you might be wondering…”

And walk through a few of these topics. You’ll be shocked how much more they’ll open up afterward.

 Written by Jayson Davis, Growth Consultant