Creating an Intentional Outreach Plan: It’s Not Creepy to DM Those You Like!

I’ve all seen it before:
The one-sentence, frat-style “yo you rushing?” text.
The over-polished, overly formal, “Hi there! We’re so excited about recruitment!” speech.

Both feel off. One’s too casual. The other’s too rehearsed. And the truth is, neither of those approaches works well when your goal is to build meaningful relationships with Potential New Members (PNMs). If we want to attract people who are a good fit for our chapter culture, we need to learn how to connect in a way that feels real, not robotic or creepy.

Rule #1: Outreach Isn’t About the Organization, It’s About the Individual

The key to intentional outreach is to make it about the person, not about the organization. Before you send a message or comment on someone’s post, take a moment to get curious about who they are. Not in a stalker-y way, but in a “do I know anything about them that could spark a genuine conversation?” kind of way. Are they in another student org? Do they post about something you also love, like a show, hometown, or major? When your message starts with something specific about them, it automatically feels more personal and welcoming. It shows you’re interested in who they are, not just what they can do for your chapter.

Try:

“Hey (Name)! I saw you’re involved with XYZ org, I’ve always thought that was such a cool group. How’d you get into that?”

This kind of message shows interest, effort, and authenticity, all without coming on too strong.

Rule #2: Outreach Isn’t Creepy When It’s Strategic

A lot of people feel weird about DMing someone they don’t know well, but here’s the thing: outreach is only creepy when it’s insincere or overly self-serving. When it’s rooted in care, connection, and community, it’s actually one of the smartest recruitment strategies you can use. People join people, not perfection. Waiting for the “right moment” to connect often means missing the opportunity altogether. The earlier you reach out, the more time you have to build real trust and give that person the space to explore whether your chapter might feel like home.

Rule #3: Keep It Real, Not Robotic

The best messages aren’t the ones that sound perfect, they’re the ones that sound real. A simple “Hey, I noticed you’re into ___, I’ve always wanted to learn more about that!” goes way further than a copy/paste script. People can tell when they’re being mass messaged, and that often leads to silence or disinterest. But when someone feels seen, they’re more likely to respond, engage, and start a relationship that goes beyond recruitment.

Instead of this:

“Hi! We are so excited to meet you during recruitment. Let us know if you have questions.”

Try this:

“Hey! I remember you mentioned you’re from Arizona, one of my best friends is from there too. They always tell me about the heat! How are you staying cool this summer?”

Simple. Warm. Real.

Step 4: Outreach Is a Cycle, Not a One-Time Thing

It’s also important to remember that outreach isn’t a one-time task, it’s part of an ongoing growth cycle. Once someone replies or shows interest, that’s your cue to keep the connection going. Ask about their week. Invite them to something low-key. Share something about your experience that helps them picture themselves as part of your world. This is where we start building relationships that are intentional and rooted in mutual understanding, not just ask someone to show up for recruitment. Show you see them as a person, not just a name on a list.

That’s how people move from “a name I got at the involvement fair” to “someone I’d love to see in our chapter.”

So, before you send a message, run through this quick mental checklist:

• Do I know something about them that I can reference?

• Does my message sound like me, not a robot?

• Am I making this personal and not promotional?

• Am I offering a next step or just saying “hi”?

At the end of the day, the goal isn’t to get people to sign up. It’s to make them feel welcome, seen, and valued so they want to learn more. You don’t have to wait for recruitment to start showing people what your chapter is all about. Every message is a chance to plant a seed, start a friendship, and invite someone into something bigger than themselves.

So go ahead. Send the message. Start the conversation. Show them what makes your chapter feel like home, one real connection at a time.

 Written by Becca Lahr, ‍‍Customer Success Training Manager