Who Do We Want and Who Do We Need by Our Side?

“Hiring the wrong people is the fastest way to undermine a sustainable business.”

– Kevin J. Donaldson

Hey Reader

Depending on where you are in your fraternity or sorority journey, you may or may not have been involved in recruiting new members. Between planning info sessions, learning names of PNMs, and managing schedules for intake or recruitment, one question always finds its way into the group chat or chapter meeting:

What are we actually looking for in new members?

The people who show up, interested in joining our chapters, are often a mix of personalities, backgrounds, and ambitions. They’re all looking for a place to belong. As current members, we have a responsibility to create that space. But here’s where we often get stuck: balancing who we want with who we actually need. The people we want might feel like a good fit at the moment. But the people we need? They’re the ones who’ll help sustain our chapter long after we’ve graduated.

So how do we figure out the difference?

I’m glad you asked, friend. This blog is a short, personal guide to help you reflect on what your chapter wants versus what it needs to grow with purpose. My hope is that it challenges the status quo, reconnects you with your chapter’s “why,” and helps you build a stronger, more values-aligned community.

Understanding the Why Behind the Wants

One of the hardest parts of member selection is unpacking why we’re drawn to or dismiss certain PNMs. Sometimes it’s personal bias, maybe even subconscious. Other times, it’s pressure to maintain a chapter “brand.” Either way, our preferences often disguise themselves as “standards” without any true connection to our values.

Let me give you two real-world examples I’ve seen:

• A chapter known for throwing the best parties begins recruiting people solely based on social presence, ignoring great potential members who don’t fit that mold.

• Another chapter with a history of high academic performance only considers PNMs with GPAs above their chapter average, limiting their pool and overlooking members who could contribute in other powerful ways.

Believe it or not, both of these scenarios are real world examples of criteria that I have experienced advising chapters. In both cases, chapters made recruitment decisions based on what they wanted, not necessarily what they needed. And I hear the pushback all the time:

“But we have the right to have standards for our chapter!”

You do. 100%. But here’s what I’d invite you to consider:

What you want isn’t always what you need.

Your chapter may have developed a personality or culture that’s strayed from the mission your founders set out to create. That’s normal, but it’s also something we have to actively work against. Values-based growth means checking ourselves. It means separating our personal preferences from the actual mission, vision, and purpose of our organization. It means choosing members who align with our long-term impact, not just our short-term comfort.

Our greatest challenge? Expanding our horizons

Change sucks for a lot of people, especially to those that do not agree with change. Broadening the scope of who we select can be met with resistance and pressure, but the greatest benefit to expanding your horizons is activating new and exciting opportunities to create new pipelines of membership. Advancement is your greatest challenge, and you cannot achieve it without diversifying the minds and perspectives through recruitment and intake.

What do we do now?

Recruitment and intake can be challenging. By shifting your mindset to a values-based approach, you can ensure your chapter thrives for years to come. Here are some actionable steps to help your chapter separate wants from needs:

Step 1: Revisit Your Founding Values

• Action: Organize a chapter workshop to collectively review your organization’s mission, vision, and core values. Don’t just read them; discuss what each value truly means in practice.

• Phired Up Connection: Phired Up emphasizes understanding your organization’s “why” before you focus on the “how.” This foundational step ensures everyone is aligned on the true purpose of your chapter.

Step 2: Define your chapter’s “why”

• Action: For each aspect of your collective why, brainstorm specific, observable behaviors that demonstrate that why. For example, if the chapter has a heavy focus on “service,” you might consider seeking new members who consistently volunteer for community initiatives.

  • Focus on behavior-based recruitment, moving beyond superficial characteristics to identify individuals who genuinely embody your ideals. Think beyond the status quo!

Step 3: Develop Values-Based Interview Questions

• Action: Create interview questions that prompt PNMs to share examples of how they’ve demonstrated your chapter’s core values in their own lives. Avoid questions that focus solely on social activities or academic achievements.

  • Advocate for meaningful conversations over formal interviews. Develop questions to facilitate deeper connections and reveal a potential new member or interest’s character and alignment with your chapter values.

Step 4: Implement a Diversified Recruitment/Intake Strategy

• Action: Move beyond traditional recruitment methods. Explore new avenues for engaging potential members, such as campus organizations, academic departments, or community service events, to attract a wider range of individuals.

  • Recruitment happens 24/7 and 365. Broaden your reach and increase your chances of finding individuals who align with your values, regardless of their immediate social circle by establishing pipelines and practicing social excellence.

Step 5: Train Your Members on Values-Based Selection

• Action: Provide ongoing training for all members involved in recruitment or intake. Focus on recognizing values-aligned behaviors, mitigating personal bias, and conducting meaningful conversations to enhance the personal relationship experience between active and potential members.

  • People join people! Keep deconstructing the ideologies that do not serve your chapter while creating new opportunities for growth through authentic interactions.

By intentionally focusing on your chapter’s core values and implementing these tangible steps, you can build a membership that not only sustains but elevates your organization for generations to come.

Written by Brandon “B.P.” Palmore, Growth Consultant