by Matt Mattson
The Dean’s List from this semester = Your fraternity’s/sorority’s new friends next semester.
Go.
(Example: MSU Business School Fall ’09. Fall ’10 will be out soon.)
<— That’s Dean Vernon Wormer for you youngsters.
by Nick Gilly and Vince Fabra
Social Excellence calls for you to be less of a hero, and more of a sidekick. In recruitment, a moose can attract heroes. Read on to figure out what all this means…
In high school English most of us learned about the archetypal hero and the “hero’s journey.” The hero hears his calling, his inner impulse which drives him into the unknown. Along his journey he encounters “demons” and other obstacles that try to divert the hero from his journey, but with the aid of a helper or mentor he overcomes those obstacles and succeeds in his quest.
Let’s be honest: we all want to be a hero. From early childhood playing cops and robbers we frame our lives from the point of view that we are the hero, and life is our hero’s journey. When we arrive on a college campus, we set out on our quest to find ourselves. That quest has taken us into our fraternities and sororities, and included the typical cast of helpers, demons, and obstacles along the way. We surmount odds with the ultimate goal of accomplishing great things and leaving our own legacy.
If you’re the hero, what does that make those around you? What does that make each potential new member you meet? How are you framing your conversation with him? Is he a helper being recruited into your great organization to help you on your journey? Think about this: the wo/man across the table from you is undergoing their own hero’s journey. To them, you are either a helper, a demon, or an obstacle. What will it be?
Next time you have the opportunity to have a conversation with a potential member, what if you made them the hero? What if your questions, your conversation, and your actions framed yourself as the helper instead, aiding and mentoring him on their own hero’s journey? What if instead of telling them about what your chapter does, you asked them what they would do with the chapter? What would people learn about that person through the chapter’s actions? How would that excite him/her?
Everyone wants to be the hero, so why not give the people you interact with the chance to be? How would that change the conversation?
If we strive to build successful chapters, what gives us a better chance of success than constantly recruiting heroes?
Batman had Robin. Maverick had Goose. Robin Hood had Little John. Heroes and their sidekicks pervade through stories. It is hard to find a Disney movie that doesn’t show us a hero who could not have succeeded in his quest without the aid of a helper. This is not just a fantasy construct, however; the relationship between heroes and helpers is all around us in our own lives.
Sports fans the world over recognize Emmitt Smith as a football hero. As the NFL’s all-time leader in rushing (18,000+ yards) and touchdowns (164 TD’s), I’d argue that even non sports fans recognize his name.
How about this name: Daryl Johnston? For most, “Daryl Johnston” is a name that does not ring a bell. Daryl “Moose” Johnston is a former NFL player, a Super Bowl Champ, and now a sports broadcaster. To Emmitt Smith, however, Daryl “Moose” Johnston is the most important helper of his career. See, Moose played fullback, while Emmitt Smith played running back. The primary objective of a fullback is to lead the way, clear the path and protect the running back. For 10 seasons, Moose sacrificed the ball carries, the touchdowns, the glory, and his body to ensure that Smith would be successful.
Take a look at this video, as Smith thanks Moose for being a teammate, a friend and a helper.
Then I want you to dry your eyes (if you’re anything like us) and then think of the Moose in your life. How would your life be different without their help? Who are the people that need you to be their Moose? How can we put our own hero’s journey to the side and be the helper?
How can you be the Moose?
by Vince Fabra
With a contradiction in the title (“Significance of Insignificant”), you are either intrigued or annoyed. Either way, you are looking for answers. What I hope to do with this blog is share stories of significant results from seemingly insignificant conversations (“There is that contradiction again. WHAT DOES IT ALL MEAN?!?”).
Throughout my life, I have been extremely blessed with peer mentors. I valued their opinions just as much as I did their company. However, the best advice, mentorship or guidance did not come from a scheduled, sit-down sessions. The most significant conversations were actually disguised as insignificant at the time. Some were short in length, others were odd in setting, but all were authentic in nature.
As I share these important stories with you, think about these three things:
In the summer of 2004, I was in the anxious limbo between high school and college. Worried about the transition to college life, I sought the advice of a current student, Gene Gouaux. Gene and I were acquaintances, having known one another through previous high school involvement. One night, making the counselor rounds, checking to see that all the delegates were in their rooms, Gene began to assure me that I would love the University of Southern Mississippi. We launched into a deep, hour-long conversation in the bathroom of the residence hall (Remember when I said, “odd in setting?” I was preparing you for this). Our conversation developed into Gene’s keys to a successful freshman year. Gene said getting involved was the key to my success and enjoyment in college. He was right. I got involved, and I eventually succeeded Gene as Student Body President. At the time, I knew he was a great guy looking out for a nervous 17 yr old freshman. Looking back, that conversation changed my life, and he is one of my best friends and mentors.
Gene chose to be the person who had the conversation in a bathroom.
As a college freshman, I was nearly certain that I would not be a member of a Greek-letter organization. Then I met Toby Barker. Once arriving as a freshman, Toby began the friendship/recruitment process. Toby was transparent, letting me know that he was a member of a fraternity, but he never pushed the issue. After a night of hanging with Toby and his fraternity brothers, I asked Toby, “What is the difference between being your fraternity brother and being your friend?” Toby thought about it for a second and delivered the best answer he could, “Man, it is really difficult to articulate that, but it is such a different experience. You just have to trust me.” It is safe to say that answer was underwhelming, but I made a decision to trust Toby. At the time, his answer was lackluster. Looking back, it changed my life.
Toby chose to be the person who authentically requested trust.
I am proud to say that I have been on the giving end of significant advice wrapped up in an insignificant conversation. A fraternity brother of mine, Jeff Songer, was thinking about transferring schools when he was a freshman. I gave him the most basic piece of advice anyone would think to give. I said, “Jeff, just give it a chance.” That’s it. That was my plea for my friend and fraternity brother to stay at our school. Jeff never transferred, and it wasn’t until the next spring he let me know how much that piece of advice meant to him. Jeff went on to become a leader of our chapter and a huge fan of our institution. At the time, I was just being supportive. Looking back, I said just what he needed to hear. That seemingly insignificant sentence changed his life.
I chose to be the person who vulnerably asked my friend to stay.
Conversations and stories like these exist a hundred times over. For example, a former National Council President of my fraternity says his Significant, Insignificant conversation happened when his future big brother in the fraternity invited him on an errand for a new toothbrush. These opportunities exist every day. When you wake up in the morning, are you thinking about changing someone’s life? No. You are thinking about the classes you have to attend, the work you have to do, the meeting you have to make. But what about the things that are not on your daily schedule? Insignificant conversations that offer support or even toothbrush shopping – Those are chances to build relationships, make memories and change lives. I sincerely urge you to be open to these insignificant conversations. Their significance can surprise you.
Choose to be the person who goes toothbrush shopping.
Remember the importance of every conversation – seemingly significant or not. Social Excellence blossoms through momentary choices, being present and engaged at all times, and remembering that the big moments in life aren’t always planned, but almost always happen with others.
If your life has been touched by an insignificant (at least seemingly insignificant) conversation, I encourage you to reach out to that person and thank them for the impact they have made in your life. They may not know how significant they are.
by Matt Mattson
A link to this article in Inside Higher Ed made the rounds last week, and the implications for our Social Excellence message were obvious. Clearly “The Social Experiment” at Columbia could have been profoundly bolstered by a little Phired Up Social Excellence training.
But there were two links buried inside that article that both surprised and inspired me. These two links directed readers to background information on two college traditions. One at Washington and Lee University in Lexington, VA (The “Speaking Tradition”), and one at Sewanee: The University of the South in Tennessee (The “Passing Hello”). [Take a moment to read those].
Social Excellence is about momentary choices. Daring yourself to connect with others using the Best Version of You. Choosing to engage with the people and society around you. It is about being present and aware of the power of interpersonal connection.
Is there any simpler way to engage with the world than to just SAY HI to people as you pass them?
If you choose Social Excellence as your lifestyle. If you want to be the best version of you today. If you want to create a tradition in your community of engagement, interaction, connection, and relationships… start simple. Take the “Say Hi” pledge. Raise your right hand and repeat after me.
I, [state your full name], pledge upon my honor, to say “Hi” to people as I walk past them today and every day.
I will do so with an authentic smile and a genuine wish in my heart that they might feel my positive presence in their life, if just for a fleeting moment.
I understand I am not to wink, giggle, or give a creepy stare while taking this action. I further understand that this requires an aversion of my gaze away from my cell phone or other text-messaging device.
Because I maintain this simple commitment, my community will be more connected and in some small way I will have enriched the world.
I recognize that this is just a small gesture, but that it will move me toward a full Social Excellence lifestyle.
[Since your hand is up, high-five someone to make it official.]
Note to Greeks: Since you’re members of SOCIAL organizations, what if you took a similar pledge as a whole community (or chapter)? What if you were the people on campus who said “Hi” to people as you walked past them? It sounds simple, yes. But what if that was the story your campus told about you… “The Greeks here are the ones that make you smile as you pass them on campus.” How might that help with recruitment? How might that change the long-term behavior of your members toward your original social mission?
Note to AFA 2011 Attendees: Look for an opportunity at the Phired Up exhibit booth to make your pledge to Social Excellence.
The results of the first phase of Phired Up’s first research project are in and we are phreakin’ excited about them!
Download the full research report here:
This study represents a major first step in the direction we want to push our fraternity/sorority partners in thinking about organizational growth. To put it plainly, our 100+ year-old organizations have done a poor job of gathering helpful data to support decision-making around the most important part of our operations – recruitment. Everything we do (and don’t do) springs from the way we recruit. We are proud to significantly add to the base of public knowledge surrounding recruitment and membership selection.
Through years in the field of fraternal advising, we’ve noticed a trend: many organizations are seeking a sustainable, data driven process by which they can select the members that are most likely going to fit, persist, and succeed in their organizations. This study, “The Best of the Best Assessment” sought to examine common traits and common life experiences of fraternity and sorority students who are the best of the best. The best of the best students are defined as those who are exceptionally excellent. These members stand out among all the rest. We define common traits as a skill or personality characteristic (e.g., making others happy, kind, smart) and life experiences as a concrete encounter, situation, background, or condition. Examples of life experience include athletic involvement, large family, or chess player. Our primary focus was to answer the overarching question: What makes the very best members of fraternities and sororities?
Here is how we began to answer that question:
We asked over 100 professionals open ended questions to identify common themes, interviewed and/ or surveyed almost 200 best of the best students themselves to find out their traits and experiences, and analyzed the results of all three of those methods. We used a technique to analyze this data called “coding for words and themes”. The analysis resulted in the 15 themes you see below.
BEST OF THE BEST STUDENTS ARE:
What we are doing next? We are now creating and testing a survey to measure whether or not a potential new member is a best of the best student. We are testing that survey for content and construct validity to make sure you get the most valid and reliable tool possible. We are also creating a values based selection criteria for use during more formalized recruitment processes. When this is all over, communities, organizations, and individuals will have a reliable and revolutionary way to select members.
Good research always sparks more questions. We would love to hear yours! Here are just a few from our staff:
At Phired Up we are all about innovation but nothing can ever be innovative without participation. Your participation in this research study through answering questions, being supportive, participating in interviews, or just plain getting phired up about it were vital to our work. Thank you! Be on the look out for even more from the Phired Up research area. Until then- keep on being curious…
by Josh Orendi and Matt Mattson
Missed Rush?
NKU (Northern Kentucky) Sigma Phi Epsilon deserves credit for a brilliant idea that helped spark their young chapter’s recruitment burst. After a poorly attended fall rush week the chapter took matters into its own hands and hosted a campus-wide “Missed Rush?” marketing push and information session about 3 weeks after formal rush week. The group was able to generate interest from dozens of men that didn’t know about the first rush week or were not able to participate.
As an alumnus of the group reports, “this was our first time experiencing taking members throughout the year … it worked … so we kept doing it.” It’s a great feeling picking up men throughout the semester.
Sneak Peak
Take that idea one step further and apply it to the end of the semester (around NOW). How about a 3-5 day period called “Recruitment Sneak Peek.” Offer a preview opportunity for students considering membership in fraternities/sororities next semester. Perhaps it includes highly visible marketing activities (all-campus event, tabling, etc.) Perhaps it includes a targeted push to get RA’s, Student Government Leaders, Orientation Leaders, Cultural Student Organization Leaders, and other students in positions of influence to have lunches with your members.
No matter the details, make sure to create opportunities like this to gather names, start forging relationships, and driving interest in your organization (and show interest in non-members).
It doesn’t require a lot of planning. You don’t have to wait for your organization’s governing council to make it happen. It just requires effort. Go.
“Research shows that the happiest people report having at least seven hours of social interaction a day.” I was watching a segment on Good Morning America this week about the happiest places on earth when the guest shared that little nugget. The guest, Dan Buettner author of Thrive, clarified only face-to-face or phone interaction counted as interaction, not texting, facebooking, tweeting, etc.
As I sat in the Newark, New Jersey airport on my way home from a Social Excellence and Recruitment visit at Rutgers University, I couldn’t help but wonder. SEVEN hours. That’s an incredibly long time. But then it started to click, of course the happiest people are the most interconnected people. We’re social creatures, we feed off the energy of others.
I couldn’t help but think about what could be, though. What if we all embraced this idea of seven hours of social interaction daily, but combined that with Social Excellence. Not only just talking to people during those seven hours, but being generous, curious, authentic and vulnerable. How different would each of our lives be if we intentionally connected in the deep zone or fun zone?
If we knew we had to get those seven hours in, would we sit blankly staring at our fellow passengers on the bus? Would we greet our co-workers with the same “do anything fun last night?” or could we push and challenge ourselves to share a smile and helping hand to make someone’s day? Would we sit down with our co-workers and ask about their family or volunteer at a homeless shelter to help with career counseling?
I’m going to start small, for one hour a day I’m going to interact with someone that isn’t in my normal, daily scope. Maybe that means volunteering at a new organization, chatting to strangers on a plane, or simply picking up the phone to call a relative that I rarely talk to. I have no idea if this increased social interaction will actually make me happier, but I know it will make those I reach out to happier – and maybe that’s what it’s all about anyway.
by Josh Orendi
Chapters practicing Dynamic Recruitment understand the deep value of the 1-on-1 meeting. This is often the first personal interaction with a potential member after adding him/her to your Names List. With so many things you could choose to talk about, here’s a little insight into what the top fraternity/sorority recruiters in the country are focused on during their initial meetings:
Set Up:
Content:
Remember to update your Names List immediately. Consider sending a text or Facebook message right after to say “thanks” for meeting and remind them when you’ll be getting back together. Now you’re doing “results producing” Dynamic Recruitment!
by Matt Mattson
I saw this guy (his name is Max Oman) on campus at the University of Minnesota yesterday. Needless to say, I just HAD to go talk with him.
[In case you can't read it, his sign says, "I will talk to anyone about anything. free."]
Is this Social Excellence? It certainly is bold.
Here’s what I loved most about this guy after having a short conversation with him. He wasn’t trying to get anything out of people except a conversation. He was kind of just playing. Trying to make people smile. Being generous.
I asked him why he was doing this, and he said he had seen a picture of someone do something similar, and it looked fun. So, there he is.
Most people, of course, passed him by with a smirk on their face. Some people stopped and engaged him. Nearly everyone that walked past probably remembered him. He entered people’s lives.
Maybe more importantly, interacting with Max got me thinking about the power of poster boards. Seriously. See here, here, and here. It seems like a poster board, a marker, and minimal creativity provide a good reason to talk to strangers, to engage socially, to meet potential members for your organization… put plainly, poster boards seem to be a simple, cheap tool to make life a little more interesting.
What would happen if you walked around wearing a poster board around your neck like Max’s? How would your day be different?
Thanks for talking to me, Max. You’re an interesting dude. I’m guessing people like Max would like our Dare Cards.
[RING OF PHIRE: The Ring of Phire is a team of undergraduate fraternity and sorority members dedicated to delivering the messages of Phired Up Productions to their peers around the country.]
by Amelia Mieth (Ring of Phire Member)
“Bosnia. They don’t have roads, but they have Facebook.” -The Social Network
It’s amazing to think about, really. Places where they don’t have developing roads have a way to connect to the entire world at the click of a mouse. It seems that Facebook itself is constantly growing, as is the story behind it. I recently saw the new movie The Social Network- mainly for Justin Timberlake, but I also wanted to learn more about this entity that is defining a generation.
In the movie, we are introduced to Mark Zuckerberg, the creator of Facebook. The movie begins with a conversation based around Final Clubs. After listening to the dialogue, a light bulb goes off in my head, “A Final Club is similar to a fraternity! Greek life in the movies, hurray!” It is Zuckerberg’s goal to be accepted into one of the clubs, sealing his place in the Harvard social scene.
Without giving too much of the movie away, the portrayal of one of the Final Clubs is similar to that of a movie or TV fraternity – hosting raging parties, hazing new members, and an odd sense of recruitment. In the movie, Zuckerberg’s friend Eduardo gets “punched” to join one of the top clubs, and their friendship takes a hit for it. While he doesn’t come out straight and say it, Zuckerberg is jealous. As the movie progresses, this reoccurring theme of “You didn’t get in, maybe you aren’t good enough” seems to prosper.
I can’t help but think of what may have been if he did get into the prestigious club – would we even have Facebook? How would we connect? But that’s not my point.
My point is this: You shouldn’t be defined by what organization you’re in. You should be defined by the values you choose to live out every day. Whether they are values specific to your organization, or a general set of fraternal values you are holding yourself to — standards that you believe in and that are important to you.
Your organization challenges you to understand and live your own personal values in relation to the stated values of the group.
When you recruit, do you have this conversation with your potential members? Do you know about their personal values set before you ask them to join? How many of them can name the values of the organization they’re joining before they accept an invitation for membership?
Another member of the Ring of Phire, Steve Pasdiora, began a conversation on our Facebook discussion board (thanks Mark Zuckerberg!) that I would highly recommend you check out… here. Join in on our discussion. Sometimes we all need a little reminder.