COB Doesn’t Suck – You Are Just Doing It Wrong

Well, Ok – that might be a little harsh, that YOU is not you specifically. But if you are doing it wrong, it’s really not your fault. It’s only because we haven’t taught it to you.

Honestly, it’s a little bit miraculous if you are even doing it a little bit right given that:

A. The world around us has impacted how we grow (COVID, Enrollment changes, just… life)

B. Some people in your life who are supposed to help you with this may be doing it wrong, too, and again, it’s likely not their fault either!

C. On some campuses, COB is considered toxic or bad and has been stigmatized only for “bad recruiting” chapters for so long that it’s hard to overcome that perception.

Here’s the reality… We only have control over two things here:

1. Debunking the stigma

2. Teaching the right solutions.

So how do we do that?

Well, here’s the tea on COB:

First, this was the way that we were all supposed to be recruiting from the beginning.

Formal recruitment is a process that has not been around forever. Back in the day parties and events were used for women to get to know one another, yes, but the conversations weren’t surface or timed they were meaningful and had depth. Think about COB as an opportunity to truly get to know someone in a natural way. The timing, intensity, and other “stuff” of primary recruitment can really distract from the whole purpose of recruiting in the first place – getting to really know someone to determine their fit.

Second, getting to COB says more about a process than you or your chapter.

If you have open spots to fill it may mean that the women who are right for your chapter were not attracted to the primary recruitment process. So what? Why does that instill some type of shame in some of our chapters? All COB opportunities tell us “Oh cool, this chapter has a different prospect pool than some other chapters. No big deal.” Don’t let some lame historical stigma keep you from being proud of who you are and sharing the gift of your chapter with others.

Third, COB is so easy but it’s also easy to overcomplicate.

Your instinct may be to create another fully structured recruitment process just for your chapter – don’t do that!! Women who were interested in that type of recruitment experience already signed up for it. Don’t push every single member in your chapter to do COB work either – that will exhaust you and them. Find a good chunk of women who want to make new friends and just start getting to know folks and tracking your relationships.

COB requires a new way of thinking and that’s tough.

Be patient with your alumnae and members.

Remember that some of our best members come to us in this way because it’s a lot easier to get to know people without the noise of a fully structured process. In other words, they really understand what they are signing up for and you probably really know them.

The core of this process starts and ends with a list.

Put names on a list, move names through your list, and get names off your list.

Here’s how this works:

On a list:

You can use chapterbuilder to track and manage this list. Use the tools we have here and here to start putting names together of the unaffiliated women on your campus. Building the list takes a little effort and every name gets to be on unless they are affiliated.

Through a list:

This is where you create a better recruitment experience. Start with one-on-one coffee dates with potential members. Get to know them in a really chill and normal way. Once that goes well, bring them to an event with more sisters – this can be something you are already doing and when they are ready you can bring them to something that is especially recruitment-focused. See here.

Off that list:

Covet the concerns of the women you are recruiting. See here. Ask them, “If I were going to ask you to join, what would you say?” and see where the conversation goes. This gives you an opportunity to have a deeper conversation about membership.

So, you see, COB is not re-invented fully structured recruitment and it’s not a mark of poor chapter management or a bad recruitment.

COB is a different (I think better) way to invite more people into your sisterhood.

Find a way that works for you but it should feel natural and normal and while it may be challenging it should feel challenging in a good way that produces results.

 Written by Dr. Colleen Coffey-Melchiorre, Growth Consultant