Have You Checked In on Your New Members Lately?

No, I mean it. Have you really checked in on your new members lately? I don’t mean like have you invited them to a party, or bought them a coffee, I mean have you talked to them? Had a deep meaningful conversation with one of them?

Retention doesn’t happen by accident. It takes intentional effort to ensure that new members don’t just stay, but thrive. A strong recruitment season is great and everything, but if new members feel lost, disconnected, or unsure about their decision to join, they won’t stick around. That’s why it’s important to have consistent check-ins, mentorship, and a culture of belonging in the chapter.

Joining a fraternity or sorority is a big deal, and while excitement runs high during the bidding process, reality can hit like an 8 a.m. class after a late night. “Joiner’s remorse” is real – the feeling of uncertainty or regret that some new members experience after joining. Maybe they are overwhelmed, or unsure of expectations, or are struggling to find their place or friend group in the chapter. If these feelings go unaddressed, members may quietly disengage and eventually leave.

So, how do you get ahead of this? By being proactive. Have a plan. Here are three things your chapter can do to ensure your newest members aren’t just staying but thriving.

Intentional Check-Ins

New members should never feel like they’ve been left to figure things out on their own. Schedule regular, one-on-one check-ins with new members that are conversation based.

Ask open-ended questions to get a feel for how they are doing….

• How are you feeling about your experience so far?

• Is there anything that’s been challenging for you?

• How can we better support you?

Checking in isn’t just about asking questions – it’s about really listening. If a new member expresses concerns, take action to address them. Small gestures of support can make all the difference.

Mentorship Matters

A strong mentorship program is one of the most effective ways to combat “joiner’s remorse.” Pairing new members with engaged, supportive mentors in the chapter helps them navigate the transition into the organization.

The mentor should…

• Regularly connect with their mentee beyond required meetings.

• Share personal experiences and advice

• Help their mentee get involved in chapter activities and leadership opportunities

• Encourage open conversation about challenges and concern

The right mentorship dynamic can transform a hesitant new member into a lifelong, engaged member of your organization.

Create a Culture of Belonging

New members need more than just a spot on the roster – they need to feel like they belong.

This means…

• Encouraging inclusive, welcoming chapter dynamics.

• Making sure new members are invited and included in chapter activities.

• Acknowledging and celebrating their contributions early on.

• Avoiding cliques that make integration difficult.

Retention isn’t about forcing people to stay; it’s about fostering an environment they don’t want to leave.

If you want to keep your new members, don’t leave their experience up to chance. Proactive check-ins, mentorship, and an inclusive culture will ensure they not only stick around but thrive. So, have you checked in on your new members lately? It could make all the difference.

 Written by Lindsay Holdren, ‍Growth Consultant