Sorority Member Selection: The Perfect Match

by Shira Tober


When it comes to dating and finding your perfect mate, I would wager that most women started compiling their list of likes and dislikes at an early age.  Thinking to yourself that you don’t want to have a crush on the kid that eats glue counts, so we’re probably going all the way back to kindergarten.  We take the time to thoroughly think about what is going to be important to us and we analyze it with our friends as love interests come and go from our lives.  The list probably looks a little something like this:

1.  Sense of Humor: Are they witty and sarcastic?  Do they only laugh at dirty jokes or do they appreciate more subtle humor?
2. Intelligent: Are they intelligent; both book smart and smart enough to know when to ask for driving directions?
3. Sensitive: Are they sensitive enough to watch The Notebook and Titanic with you or do they stick to Transformers and X-Men?
4. Can they cook? We would probably settle for knowing their way around a grill, but they still need to look cute in an apron.
5. Are they kind and dependable? Maybe they’re willing to help the little old lady cross the street while on their way to volunteer at the local children’s shelter.

As women we know how much we are willing to bend this list to make us happy in a long lasting, life long relationship.  Maybe you’re willing to sacrifice having a good dresser if they have a great head of hair, I’m thinking McDreamy locks.  Or maybe you aren’t willing to sacrifice at all.  That works too, as long as you are true to who you are and are comfortable with your criteria.

As sorority women, we should take this same analytical fervor and make a list of attributes we look for in the women we are going to ask to join our sisterhood and embark on a long lasting, life long relationship.  I doesn’t matter how long or short the list is, but it’s important that your chapter has the conversation and comes to a decision regarding what you value in a potential sister.

Coming up with a values based selection criteria is an activity that you and your chapter can do at anytime during the year, but make sure it’s settled and agreed upon before recruitment decisions need to be made.  To some of you a commitment to strong academics is essential, to others it might be leadership potential.  No matter what it is, just make sure you come up with a quantitative way to measure these attributes.  So if someone with athletic ability is on your list, find a way to measure her athletic prowess.  Just remember, having them do a time trial of sprints and hurdles is not going to be feasible during recruitment.

We’ve written about values based selection processes before.  See here, here, and here.