Ask This Question

by Matt Mattson

phired_up-00667 "I’m a part of an organization on campus that’s about networking and leadership . Part of our goal is to meet all of the highest performing students on campus. I’m trying to meet the best of the best people here.  Who are 3-5 people that you think I should meet?"

That’s what I say to pretty much everyone I meet on a college campus when I’m recruiting for an organization.  You should say it too.

Can INTROVERTS be Socially Excellent?

by Matt Mattson

caring-for-your-introvert-and-extrovert I am an introvert . I don’t thrive off of large groups. Spending time alone gives me fuel. Quiet solitude is where I find some of life’s greatest joys. My natural tendency is to separate from the crowd… or at least seek a very small group of people to spend time with. I am an introvert.

Also, I am a professional speaker, trainer and coach. I work with large groups of people nearly every day for a living. I teach people social skills, I urge social engagement, and I co-authored a book on SOCIAL EXCELLENCE .  My work requires extraordinary amounts of social interaction, and I love my work.

It seems like those two preceding paragraphs couldn’t both be true about the same person.  I promise they are though. 100%. That’s me.

I’m reading a book about introverts title, "Quiet " by Susan Cain (see her TED Talk here, and read a recent NY Times editorial that she wrote here).  I’ll reserve my review of this book for another time, but I will share that it really got me thinking that there are probably a lot of "introverts" who hear our message of Social Excellence and assume it’s not for them. "I’m just not a people person," they might think. "I do my best work alone," they might even say.

I would offer, however, that the way we interact socially with the people around us is a) a choice, and b) the determining factor in our level of influence on the world around us.  While I might do my best work when I’m alone, I can’t share that work, those thoughts, those insights, with the outside world while I’m in my introverted bubble.  No matter the life path, I must eventually engage socially for my work to mean anything.  Are there exceptions to this? Probably. But most of us, if we want to change people’s minds, sell our wares, recruit new donors or members, influence others, or BE A LEADER, we must do so through other human beings .  We are social animals living in a SOCIETY. Our interactions with each other are the conduit through which that society flows.

I might be an introvert, but I make a choice to be Socially Excellent.  Do I take breaks, go quiet, disappear into the safety and warmth of alone time occasionally?  Yep. And I’m proud of it. In fact, I would recommend that to everyone who values a little quiet space. But I also deeply understand that the more hands I choose to shake, conversations I choose to have, and relationships I choose to build, the greater my potential to learn from others, be exposed to new ideas and experiences, have more people to support me when I need them, and influence others.

I might be an introvert, but I also want to matter to the world when it’s all said and done.  I know that the best way for me to do that, the best way for me to make a big impact, the best way for me to create the change I wish to see in the world is through my relationships with others.

Plus, once I started to choose Social Excellence as a lifestyle, I had better stories, more fun, and more success.

Yes, introverts can be Socially Excellent.

Multiply Your Influence & Recruitment Potential x 150 Today!!!

by Matt Mattson

many-hand-shakes Want to multiply your influence x 150 today?

Want to give yourself a 150% better chance to change minds?

Want to learn 150 x more about the world immediately?

Want to have a chance to fund raise from, sell to, learn about, or recruit 150% more people into your group right now?!

Well, here’s the secret.  Here’s how it is done.  Here’s how you, yes YOU, can multiply your influence x 150 (or more) right now!

Shake one hand. Have a conversation. Build a relationship. With one person…  Just one will do it.

See, for every hand you shake that turns into a relationship, your level of influence is multiplied by around 150!

Dr. Robin Dunbar has done research for at least 20 years on the size of social networks.  His research has suggested that the upper limit of close relationships someone can have is around 150 . This is called "Dunbar’s Number."  While that mostly refers to the maximum number of close friends one can likely have, our suggestion is that a person’s circle of influence goes beyond their closest friends.  In fact, in today’s digitally connected world, we have much wider circles of influence than ever before since so many of us broadcast to an audience of followers (Twitter) and friends (Facebook) amongst others.

In fact, your average friend on Facebook probably has around 359 "friends" according to this article from BBC News (that article also contains this fascinating little tidbit that encourages Social Excellence , "A study of 10,000 US students over a period of 35 years suggests the wealthiest people are those that had the most friends at school. Each extra school friend added 2% to the salar y").

For our college student readers, because of your proximity to one another, and the likelihood that if you’re reading our blog you’re connected to organized student groups who all congregate and interact with one another, it is likely that your social multiplier is even higher.

Here’s the point: Every time you choose to shake a hand, have a conversation, build a relationship (be Socially Excellent), you are expanding your potential circle of influence by a factor of nearly 150! That stranger walking by isn’t just one stranger — that’s 150 people that you could be connected with, that you could influence, that you could recruit, that you could learn from, that you could gather together around your cause.

So, choose to shake some hands today…