logo
  • About Phired Up

Category : For Student Life Pros Random Thoughts

secret-1142327_960_720

Is THIS The Secret To Fixing Penn State (and all) Fraternities?

June 22, 2017 No comments Article

by Matt Mattson

There’s an old saying from Abraham Maslow, “When all you have is a hammer, everything looks like a nail.”

I feel that way about the recent happenings around fraternity life at Penn State.

Administrators have policy. Lawmakers have laws. Researchers have research. Disciplinarians have discipline. Educators have education.

I’m not saying that’s bad. In fact, I have a hammer too. I just know the problems in college fraternities aren’t nails. Nails are far too simple. We’re going to need more than one hammer, that’s for sure.

I’m no expert on the Penn State situation at all. I’ve talked with some of their student leaders and heard a genuine desire to do the right thing in their voices. That’s enough for me to want to help.

So let me offer my hammer as an additional tool to employ. But not just for PSU. We all know that State College, PA isn’t the only fraternity community where these problems exist (hazing, dangerous alcohol use, sexual assault, etc.). Experienced fraternity/sorority pros can make the list of the highest risk campuses (Why haven’t list-makers made that list? Another needed hammer.).

So what do we recommend for these giant problems?

Recruitment.

I know. This is my hammer, so to me, these problems all look like great big nails! But I’m convinced this hammer must have a prominent place in the tool belt.

Here are just a few of the rants I’ve gone on over the years about how recruitment is directly related to the biggest problems our fraternities face:

The quality of our organizations is directly correlated to the quality of the members we recruit.

Our organizations too often use the lowest common denominator recruitment methods and marketing techniques to attract the lowest common denominator prospects.

Fraternity selection criteria has historically been “Does he seem like a ‘good guy’?” – determined by gut feelings established over the course of a 5-day rush period made up of shallow conversations over barbecue.

We select our 20 new members from a prospect pool of 21 prospects — we don’t let quantity drive quality.

The expectations we set for member behavior during recruitment and upon bid acceptance are far stronger than any standards board or judicial committee.

We have not collectively determined a positive collective marketing narrative about fraternity, so that vacuum gets filled by popular media and tired stereotypes.

So, to answer the question posed in the click-bait title of this post… No. Recruitment is NOT the secret to fixing all of fraternity’s problems. But, it is an important hammer that our undergraduate leaders are actually interested in learning about and want to engage with. We know this well.

Another important hammer to be employed (that student leaders actually want to talk about) is smarter strategic marketing aimed at higher quality/lower risk students. We need to tell a better story to better people to build better organizations.

It’s a big tool box that we need for all these hammers. But, we’re not the only ones who understand that truth, of course. The NIC’s leadership is constantly calling for patience and collaboration. The AFA leadership has demonstrated a desire to bring parties together to make meaningful change.

Recently, Jud Horras, NIC President and CEO put out a statement that said in part, “the uncomfortable truth is that the inherent limitation of our interventions is that they attempt to influence student behavior from a position of external power. Time and time again, we are humbled by the fact that our efforts are shallow unless students are committed to doing the right thing in the moment.”

We offer our hammer not as an external force pounding on students. Instead, we offer recruitment and marketing support as approachable student-led interventions that (while they require real effort to make an impact) can be a positive approach to reaching the goal that we all share — for fraternities to become the safe, uplifting, accelerators of personal growth and achievement we know they are meant to be.

Tweet
Pin It
mtmyntq0mzqwodi3mzq3ndiy

How I Define Masculinity

June 20, 2017 No comments Article

by Jason Allen

Lets paint a picture of what society says true masculinity is:

  • Tall, dark, and handsome
  • The most confident man in the room, demanding attention from everyone
  • Muscles, that have muscles, that have abs
  • Always having the most gorgeous, size 0 woman on your arm
  • Bragging about all the sexual conquests you have had
  • Being able to out-drink any human or creature
  • And being ready to fight if any of these things are challenged

If you pictured Ryan Reynolds, Idris Elba, or Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson, you know exactly what I’m talking about. We see these images and hear these messages everywhere we look. Society doesn’t challenge our masculinity, it tells us what our masculinity should be and how to get there: if you do this workout plan, you will be happier and sexier; if you drink this alcohol, you will be happier and sexier; if you date women who are skinny, tall (but not taller than you) and blonde, you will be happier and sexier. To society, masculinity means happier and sexier.

We hear and see these things as children, which directly impacts how we mature and develop our masculinity. These young men attend colleges that only perpetuate these social ideals, in which we spend orientation battling in a proverbial, and some times literal, dick-measuring contest. At which point, broken fraternities welcome these men in with open, chiseled arms and vapid, empty hearts.

What I do know is that masculinity is 100% different for every single self-identified man. As a survivor of abuse at a young age from a family friend, who has struggled with his confidence for years, here is what I can tell you: My masculinity doesn’t meet many societal standards.

  • I’m not that tall, I’m not that dark, and I never really feel that handsome
  • I don’t read well, and I have never been able to publically speak that well either
  • I have not slept with many women, and never talk about it
  • I am skinny, often times called manorexic
  • I am not that outgoing or extroverted
  • I don’t have exciting hobbies, or any hobbies really
  • I don’t love playing football or basketball
  • I’m not very healthy – I don’t like running or eating the healthiest foods
  • I’m not a fan of whisky
  • I’m never emotionally unattached, and not giving a phuck isn’t really possible for me
  • Taking my shirt off makes me uncomfortable
  • I’m not attracted to size 0 women
  • I cuss way too much
  • I don’t like driving
  • I’m scared of birds and the unknown
  • I don’t love wearing suits

But, what I do know about my masculinity is:

  • I am funny, caring, and petty with a purpose
  • I talk to women to be nice, not hoping to take them home
  • I’m a fiercely loyal person
  • I am a great friend, but will never remember your birthday
  • I am never fashionably late, just late
  • I don’t use cuss words to offend, I use them as sentence enhancers
  • I love Chick-Fil-A, and could eat it everyday if my bank account and Sallie Mae said it was okay
  • I never feel the need to physically fight during a disagreement
  • I actually like watching Netflix and chilling- no hidden messages there
  • I am an adamant believer in monogamy
  • I am attracted to women that have all the curves
  • I read self help books frequently
  • I’m not afraid of therapy and currently have one of the greatest life coaches
  • I will always be concerned with other’s feelings over my own
  • My masculinity is a phucking work in progress

To the men: I challenge you to not be afraid to define masculinity for yourself. Make your own list of why you’re happy with you. Try to intervene when you hear someone’s masculinity being challenged based on facades and BS. Lastly, love yourself.

Masculinity: Define it, live in it, and y’all, choose how you want to be happy and sexy.

Tweet
Pin It

Search

Categories

  • Culturally Based Fraternal Organizations (1)
  • For Student Life Pros (70)
  • General Membership Orgs (29)
  • Guest Bloggers (20)
  • Masculinity (5)
  • New Member Education (4)
  • Phired Up News (64)
  • Random Thoughts (134)
  • Recruitment Tips (386)
  • Retention (5)
  • Ring of Phire (17)
  • Social Excellence (114)
  • Sorority Specific (71)
  • Uncategorized (26)

Archives

  • February 2019 (2)
  • January 2019 (5)
  • December 2018 (1)
  • November 2018 (3)
  • October 2018 (9)
  • September 2018 (1)
  • August 2018 (2)
  • June 2018 (4)
  • May 2018 (1)
  • April 2018 (3)
  • March 2018 (6)
  • February 2018 (5)
  • January 2018 (2)
  • December 2017 (3)
  • October 2017 (5)
  • September 2017 (1)
  • August 2017 (2)
  • July 2017 (5)
  • June 2017 (2)
  • May 2017 (3)
  • April 2017 (2)
  • March 2017 (4)
  • February 2017 (2)
  • January 2017 (3)
  • December 2016 (2)
  • November 2016 (2)
  • October 2016 (2)
  • September 2016 (2)
  • August 2016 (6)
  • July 2016 (6)
  • June 2016 (5)
  • May 2016 (6)
  • April 2016 (6)
  • March 2016 (4)
  • February 2016 (1)
  • January 2016 (2)
  • November 2015 (6)
  • October 2015 (5)
  • September 2015 (3)
  • August 2015 (2)
  • July 2015 (1)
  • June 2015 (4)
  • May 2015 (4)
  • April 2015 (5)
  • March 2015 (9)
  • February 2015 (5)
  • January 2015 (3)
  • November 2014 (2)
  • October 2014 (2)
  • September 2014 (3)
  • August 2014 (2)
  • July 2014 (3)
  • June 2014 (1)
  • May 2014 (6)
  • April 2014 (8)
  • March 2014 (7)
  • February 2014 (6)
  • January 2014 (8)
  • December 2013 (3)
  • November 2013 (10)
  • October 2013 (3)
  • September 2013 (3)
  • July 2013 (6)
  • June 2013 (3)
  • May 2013 (2)
  • March 2013 (4)
  • January 2013 (1)
  • November 2012 (1)
  • October 2012 (6)
  • September 2012 (3)
  • August 2012 (7)
  • July 2012 (9)
  • June 2012 (7)
  • May 2012 (9)
  • April 2012 (12)
  • March 2012 (7)
  • February 2012 (5)
  • January 2012 (15)
  • December 2011 (4)
  • November 2011 (3)
  • October 2011 (9)
  • September 2011 (8)
  • August 2011 (7)
  • July 2011 (5)
  • June 2011 (4)
  • May 2011 (4)
  • April 2011 (7)
  • March 2011 (10)
  • February 2011 (8)
  • January 2011 (9)
  • December 2010 (6)
  • November 2010 (8)
  • October 2010 (13)
  • September 2010 (15)
  • August 2010 (11)
  • July 2010 (5)
  • June 2010 (8)
  • May 2010 (8)
  • April 2010 (10)
  • March 2010 (8)
  • February 2010 (9)
  • January 2010 (11)
  • December 2009 (8)
  • November 2009 (9)
  • October 2009 (7)
  • September 2009 (7)
  • August 2009 (3)
  • May 2009 (1)
  • March 2009 (4)
  • February 2009 (2)
  • May 2008 (1)
  • November 2007 (4)
  • October 2007 (4)
  • September 2007 (3)
  • August 2007 (4)
  • July 2007 (3)
  • June 2007 (4)
  • May 2007 (6)
  • April 2007 (8)
  • March 2007 (7)
  • February 2007 (15)
  • January 2007 (7)
  • December 2006 (4)

Copyright (c) 2019 by Phired Up Productions, LLC

facebook twitter youtube email Rss