by Josh Orendi
My wife and I are due on February 11th with our first child — a daughter that is showing early signs of becoming a soccer player. This week, we took our first pregnancy preparation class. Our instructor, Tamara, shared a piece of advice that is so relevant to leadership that I had to pass it along. I’ll paraphrase. She said:
“We all know the big day comes with pain. We all know that there will be craziness around us. Dads, this is when you need to step up. You are her support team; her coach. Breathing exercises are a way for the two of you to connect, calm, and focus. You are a team. When you notice that she is not breathing, DO NOT tell her to breathe. She’s more likely to punch you than she is to hear your instructions. Instead, hold her hand gently, look into her eyes, tell her you love her, and begin to breathe yourself. Say, ‘breathe with me.’ and she’ll respond. You can do this together….”
Breathe with me. That’s such a simple but powerful reminder. Less instruction. More hand-in-hand, loving, demonstration of what needs to be done together (especially on the big day).
This lesson has me thinking of campus professionals that say, “I tell them the same thing … for some reason it’s like they hear it for the first time when you say it.” It reminds me of chapter leaders that say, “how many times do I have to tell them!?!?” It reminds me of my headquarters friends that tell stories of feeling like they are ‘spinning their wheels’ or ‘talking to a wall.’ Our alumni sometimes say, “is it really that hard … in my day … they just don’t get it.” The lesson even reminds me of my parents. I was the worst offender of being dismissive or defensive when they told me what I was doing wrong.
Recruitment seasons create high tension environments ripe with these moments.
Compassionate leaders/teachers/coaches/advisors/consultants/chapter and council officers often come to realize the power of being present in the moment, listening deeply, empathizing, and doing it together. Speaking in the voice that your recipient can hear is an art form. Committing to do it together as a team. Leading by example. This is quite a bit different than dropping by to “check in,” barking direction, sending a passive-aggressive text/email, or rolling your eyes (all are examples I am personally guilty of doing).
So, whether you are having a baby or just dealing with one, a few more patient moments of brotherly/sisterly love is more likely to yield the result that everyone is looking for. Breathe with me.
by Matt Mattson
We often get asked, “Does Phired Up Productions do anything for culturally-based fraternities & sororities (like NPHC, NALFO, NMGC, NAPA, etc.)?”
The answer is, and always has been, a resounding YES. And we do it well, but there is more work to be done. I’m proud of the work we did a couple years ago with a task force of innovative professionals in the field who helped us build more educational resources specifically for culturally-based Greek Letter organizations. For now, we wanted to make sure we shared a bit of our philosophy…
Margaret Mead once said, “Never doubt that a small group of committed citizens can change the world. Indeed it is the only thing that ever has.” This oft-quoted phrase explains the inspiration for our company, for our philosophy, and for our work. It also goes a long way toward explaining the genesis of most culturally-focused fraternal organizations – groups of driven individuals with a shared cultural background gathered together to change their world in a meaningful way. Culturally-based fraternities and sororities were founded to make a meaningful impact on society — to change the world — and the best way to do that is to ensure that there is always a high quantity of high quality people to achieve that mission. That’s what we do — we help cause-based membership organizations find the people they need to change their world.
The word “recruitment” is often frowned upon by some members of some culturally-based fraternal groups (and for good reason). Often that word is related to the style of organizational growth that NIC and NPC groups utilize — and that style doesn’t match the values of some culturally-based fraternal groups. However, that doesn’t change the need for culturally-based groups to attract people to their cause. So, it is important to not necessarily connect the word “recruitment,” and all it’s Greek connotations, with attracting high quality people to an organization. Let’s simplify it.
We will launch more resources in the future to meet the unique needs and opportunities presented by culturally-based fraternal organizations. We see that the future of the fraternal movement is tightly tied to the success of the organizations that are most relevant to today’s (and tomorrow’s) students. Thanks to all the organizations and universities that have brought Phired Up’s messages of Dynamic Growth and Social Excellence to their culturally-based fraternal leaders.
by Josh Orendi
There’s a deep sense of altruism associated with giving blood, bone marrow, a kidney, and even putting that little red heart on our driver’s license. It makes many of us feel good. A friend of mine told me “I like knowing that my legacy can live on through the life of another.” Somehow we know we’re doing the right thing when we commit to give away something so special to save or enhance the life of another. And, we hope that others would do the same for us.
Reminder: They have!
YOU were already the recipient of an Org Donor. A man or woman that is the reason you became a member of your ORGANization. That person changed your life. They gave you an opportunity that resulted in an enhanced life full of new friendships that will last a lifetime. Part of their legacy lives on through the work that you do. What an amazing gift.
Thinking about the ORGANization that has changed your life, you have an opportunity to Give the Gift of membership. There are people in your community that NEED your organization (many don’t even know it yet). There are people in your community who would make your organization better if they were members (many you don’t even know yet). You have a chance to be an Org Donor.
That same friend was with me at a mobile blood center on a college campus. In full disclosure, I like the idea of donating blood but I HATE needles. He must have seen my discomfort and said, “come on, let’s go … sure it hurts a little, sure it’s a little inconvenient, but isn’t it worth it if a life we’re helping change might be a person that changes the world.” (You can tell he’s been to a Phired Up program or two!)
My mind always drifts to recruitment. Love your organization enough to give it away. Change the World! Be an Org Donor.
Here’s the website to learn more about becoming an organ donor: http://www.organdonor.gov/
Here’s the website to learn more about becoming an organization donor: http://www.phiredup.com
by Matt Mattson
Them: “So, what’s this organization you’re a part of all about?”
You: “When I was young, I always wanted to be a part of something important, didn’t you? I wanted to matter. I wanted to do something truly remarkable. You know what I mean? I found that in this organization. Let me give you an example. A group of us recently did this amazing project that took sweat, hard work, and long hours, and the whole time I was smiling for two reasons — the other members I was working with were amazing, driven, passionate people; and the work we were doing was changing lives — we were making a difference. I looked in the eyes of the people we were helping and the other members of my organization and I saw a reflection of the best of me. This group is helping me become a better person. We are working together to make a real change in the world, and along the way we’re becoming better versions of ourselves. You’re like me… you value the same things. You want to matter. Do you have something like this in your life? Would you like to join us next time we’re doing a project like that?”
When you have the rare opportunity to explain your organization to someone, do you know how to make the most of it?
Unfortunately many people waste those opportunities by talking about what their organization does.
Tell a story. Tell a personal, emotional, directional, and invitational story. Do not convey facts, figures, or data. Inspire. Connect on a Heart-to-Heart level.
Attempt to share a story that includes all four of these elements.
Personal: Your organization is an important part of your life. So tell a personal story. Dr. Brene Brown (who we’ve mentioned before) suggests that life is really all about interpersonal connection. People want to connect with people on a deep instinctual level. Get to the heart of what your listener really wants to hear — a personal story, a testimonial about how your organization has changed your life for the better. Make your story personal.
Emotional: Passion, excitment, sorrow, struggle, joy, fulfillment, rage, justice, fanaticism, pride… Whatever emotion your organization evokes in you, share that with your listener. When people are interested in associating with an organization, it is often for reasons rooted in the most primal parts of our brain — not logic, but emotion. Start with Why. Share an story filled with emotion.
Directional: Where is your organization going? What is it trying to accomplish? Your story must communicate direction. Not just what you have done. Not just what you’re doing. But where you’re going, what you’re going to do, and why you’re excited to be headed in that direction. Vision. Share a story that communicates direction.
Invitational: Your personal story should include some space for them to imagine themselves. Share a story that invites an opportunity to create their own personal story.
We’ve discussed this topic before. See this post from 2009, and this post from 2008.
by Matt Mattson
This week is National Hazing Prevention Week. That got me thinking. What’s really the best way to prevent hazing? Here are my best ideas.
1. Recruit better, kinder, more thoughtful, more compassionate, higher performing people who have respect for the basic dignity of others.
2. …that’s all I got.
We’ve written about hazing related topics before — of course with our own organizational growth twist on the topic. Check out some of our past blogs related to hazing.
“What HURTS Recruitment Results?”
“Your Pledge Program Might Be Killing Recruitment”